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Monthly Archives: August 2011

It’s that feeling where you have a strong urge nipping at your mind almost every single moment, telling you to disconnect yourself from everyone from your past. But of course, there will always be something harder to handle than the rest – in other words, a “bitch” – in almost every possible situation, which in this case, is morality. Seeing as how I don’t want to deal with any jerks at the moment, I will spare you from all this morality crap. Yes, we know it’s not exactly the best decision to cut your ties, especially when they have committed nothing wrong and “got no beef with you”.

But what if the collective presence of and occasional interaction with all these individuals hold painful memories of the past? What would you do then? Do we still have to consider their feelings if we feel disrespected and hurt by them? Or do we take the high road, respect them as acquaintances/friends regardless of what they unknowingly do to you?

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On a lighter note, I bought a jar of gumballs from Chapters.

I meant my bedroom.

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19, 3, 15. The numbers cause nothing but confusion. As critical viewers, we grasp at the loose ends desperately, attempting to find some code or connection, yet only succeeding in clouding the mind. Curiosity arises in those who question, yet in the end, these are merely numbers to the eyes of a stranger. Significance only exists within the mind of the knower.

19 years,

3 suitcases,

15 hours.

With just an additional word, perspective is changed, significance is confirmed. It’s time to start anew.

 

 

Frankly, I’d rather spend a day or a week with children and a lifetime with pet animals. Teens are punk-asses, disrespectful, complicated, shallow, or think they just know everything about life. Adults are mature, but they are so used to how the world works that at times, they don’t grasp the concept of curiosity. Yet I’m most afraid of not being simple enough, being the teen aforementioned, and becoming the adult as I live through life everyday. Things devoid of meaning, perhaps a bit of dulled interest here and there as well.

You know what’s awesome about hanging with children? They can talk about anything, from poop to how they think the earth is formed, or maybe about a character they want to be, or hypothetical situations like being a fish in the deep, blue sea. The beauty of children is that they’re versatile. They’re like the blank sheet of paper, ready to be painted with colors but not quite prepared to choose the suitable tone, hue, or even the shade. And guess what, you have fun talking about nonsensical things. You don’t have to care whether or not they have to be true. Most importantly, when you pinkie-promise a child, he/she would most likely keep it safe ’til you fulfill that promise. You can trust them.

And a lifetime with pet animals is something I would love to do. They are simple; you give them the affection and care they need, they will return it in their own ways. I suppose you can say that human relationships are similar, but no, it’s different.

However, if I really were to interact with a human being, then I must confess: I yearn for intellectual conversations with a stunning passion. You know, the ability to sit and talk just about anything with one person. Time and place won’t be an issue.

 

…Who knows, we might as well be in bathroom stalls and discussing the essence of love.

A birth of my new original character, Xanth.

Although it’s still a work-in-progress female character, I’m starting to feel her personality inspired by the source of her name, xanthic acid*. Perhaps she is quick to change, leading no stability whatsoever. Maybe she is sensitive, or easy-going. Who knows what will turn out in the end?

*Xanthic acid is an unstable organic sulfur-containing acid with the general formula ROCS2H.